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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26604925">Ghost in the Family</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sansasnarks/pseuds/sansasnarks'>sansasnarks</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Niamaggie's JATP prompt list [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Julie and The Phantoms (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(bc the band is a family!!), Family Bonding, Found Family, Friendship, Implied/Referenced Homophobia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:15:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,435</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26604925</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sansasnarks/pseuds/sansasnarks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex’s family didn’t just disapprove of him being gay. When he came out, it was as if he didn’t exist, and when Alex goes to visit them, he’s reminded that he never needed to be a ghost to be ignored.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alex &amp; Julia Molina &amp; Luke Patterson &amp; Reggie, previous Alex/Luke Patterson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Niamaggie's JATP prompt list [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1935430</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>385</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Ghost in the Family</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was written for one of niamaggie’s prompts list! I added in a bit of Luke/Alex because Owen &amp; Charlie said the two dated in the 90s and I absolutely love that thought! </p>
<p>Prompt: There is more to Alex’s story with his family outside of what Luke said. They don’t just disapprove of him, they outright pretend he doesn’t exist. It gets to a point where he completely breaks down in the studio after having a bad practice day (the kind of day where nothing is going right). Being a ghost is like what his family did to him, but on a much bigger scale. It’s much harder to deal with…</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alex had told himself that he was going to be fine being in his old home. It was fine. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t stepped foot in the house in twenty-five and a half years. It was fine. It was <em>fine.  </em></p>
<p>Sure, his stomach was twisting in knots and he felt like his heart could beat out of his nonexistent chest - actually, wait. Could it do that? He still wasn’t sure how much their new solidity worked and the thought of his chest <em>literally </em>beating out of his chest was almost as terrifying as the thought of stepping back into his family home was. </p>
<p><em> Okay. </em> He was doing it again. Spiraling, as Julie liked to call it. Or <em>totally wigging out, dude, </em> as Reggie liked to call it. Or <em>haha, wow, look at this dude lose it, guys, </em>as Carlos liked to - <em> okay. </em>Alex sighed, shaking out his hands and staring at his house. It hadn’t changed a bit over the past 25 years, save for a new white mailbox with an American flag emblazoned on the side. Alex couldn’t remember their old one, but he was pretty sure it was better than that. </p>
<p>He walked up the steps slowly, each step closer feeling like another step towards his doom - which was dumb, of course, <em> he </em> had been the one to say he wanted to just check up on his parents, <em> he </em> was the one who told the rest of the band and Willie (and Carlos, who followed them around everywhere he physically could) to not come with him, <em> he </em> was the one who got it into this head that he needed to see his family again. </p>
<p>He closed his eyes and took three deep breaths, trying to center himself. <em> Relax, </em> he told himself. <em> They can’t see you. You’ll be fine</em>. He breathed in deep again before opening his eyes and ringing the bell. </p>
<p>The door opened, and Alex looked at the woman in front of him. “Mom?” he asked - a stupid question, because she was looking right through him and obviously wasn’t going to answer, and because if this woman was mom, she would have to be a ghost too. He squinted as the realization hit him. <em> “Lizzie?” </em>he asked this time. </p>
<p>His sister looked around in confusion, for a millisecond looking <em> right </em> at him, and when he heard an old woman’s voice ask who was there, his sister shrugged and said, “Doorbell must be on the fritz.” </p>
<p>Alex slipped in before she closed the door, and stared at the place he used to call his home. </p>
<p>It hadn’t changed a bit. Well, it had changed a <em> little </em>since the day he had left. They had stripped away the carpet and there was a mahogany floor now. Alex wondered when that had happened. Certainly after he had left. He remembered the carpet covered with bits of glass after his father had thrown the family photos on the floor with such a force that the frames had cracked. Alex could remember the stony silence as he had stood there, staring at the pieces of glass glistening on the carpet, barely registering Luke’s hand on his own as he pulled him out the door. He had mumbled something about his clothes, only for Luke to say he had grabbed some, but when Alex was in the backseat of Reggie’s car looking through the duffel Luke had packed, the David Bowie sweatshirt he had borrowed from Reggie hadn’t been there alongside his favorite puka-shell necklace and Alex had tried to tell himself that it was okay even as the tears had run down his face and the pressure in his chest tightened so much that he felt like he was going to choke. </p>
<p>Maybe that was his unfinished business, to give Reggie his shirt back? He wondered if it was still around, somewhere, but his thought was interrupted when he felt his sister walk through him. <em> God, </em> what a weird thing to experience, Alex could always feel people’s emotions when they passed through and it unnerved him whenever it happened. As she passed through him there was a hint of - anxiety? <em> No, not quite,</em> he told himself. It felt a <em> bit </em>like his anxiety creeping up, but while he would feel like there was something in his chest tightening as it tried to get out, this felt heavier somehow, like a great big nothing that could swallow him whole if he let it. But there was a warmth there too, slow and steady, that let him know without a doubt that this was his older sister. </p>
<p>He wondered where Nina, his younger sister was, but one look at the family photos on the wall answered his question. An unfamiliar woman was on the wall, side-by-side with a brown-haired man, two smiling babies on their laps. Nina must have moved out ages ago. His eyes flitted to the photo next to it. Nina and Lizzie were there, their arms around an older woman with long graying hair and an old man with his mouth set in a straight line but a smile in his eyes. The family photos littering the staircase didn’t seem to have him on it at all, just photos of Lizzie and Nina and his parents. It was as if every trace of him was gone from their lives, down to the pictures. </p>
<p>Two figures walked down the stairs, and Alex backed up quickly, giving them a wide berth. He knew they could pass through them and could already hear Reggie and Luke’s voices in his head reminding him that he was a ghost, it was <em> fine, </em>but the thought of Alex’s parents passing through him made Alex feel sick in a way that he couldn’t quite explain. He followed his parents as they sat down in the living room, his mother on her phone and his father turning on the television to watch some sitcom. His mother leaned towards his dad, showing him something funny on her phone, and the two laughed, and when Lizzie came over and peered at the image and joined in, the sounds mixing in with the canned laughter of the unseen audience from the sitcom. </p>
<p>Alex tried peering over their shoulders to peek at the phone, but his dad’s frame kept blocking his view. “Just move for a second,” he said absentmindedly to his dad. “I want to see.” </p>
<p>His father, of course, didn’t respond, and then the phone was put back into his mother’s pocket, Lizzie went towards the kitchen, and the house was quiet, besides the commercial about some discount furniture store playing on the screen. Alex stood in front of the television, watching his parents look through him. He would accompany Luke and Reggie to see their families from time to time. Luke’s parents always walked around like living ghosts, as if a little bit of the light had gone out of their eyes. Reggie’s would laugh and smile but stare off into the distance when they thought nobody was paying attention. </p>
<p>Mom looked a little bored. Dad yawned. </p>
<p>Alex felt the crushing anxiety switch to a feeling similar to anger, and it welled up in him as he slammed the wall in frustration. At the last second, he thought, <em> No, maybe I should just phase through </em> but his hand was already making contact and he could only soften the blow, making just a sad pitiful <em> thump </em> on the wall. </p>
<p>His mother’s eyes went to the wall and furrowed in confusion, but his father waved his hand. “Bird probably hit the window again,” he said, and his mother shrugged, turning her attention back to the screen. </p>
<p>“I - okay,” Alex sighed, the angry-adjacent feeling gone. He suddenly felt tired, and he walked out the door, leaving his unaware family behind. </p>
<p>He moved past the people strolling down the sidewalk, narrowly avoiding bumping into people as he walked by. “Excuse me,” he muttered as he moved around a group of kids riding their bikes. He sidestepped one house’s sprinkles a second too late and he flinched slightly as the water shot out towards him until it passed through him and he sighed. <em> Right. Ghost. </em> </p>
<p>It wasn’t until he had gotten to the garage door that he realized he could have just poofed home, and he blinked back tears. He couldn’t even be a <em> ghost </em> correctly. He squared up his shoulders and tried to make his face as light and casual as possible, and he poofed inside, where the band was already setting up for their next practice. </p>
<p>“Alex!” Julie said, lighting up, though her eyes filled with concern when she saw his face. “Are you okay?” </p>
<p>Well. There went <em>light and casual</em>. Yet another thing Alex couldn’t do, apparently. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m fine,” Alex said, though even to himself it sounded like an obvious lie, but besides Luke and Reggie sharing a look that they thought he didn’t see, there were no further comments, and Alex sat down in front of his drums. </p>
<p>Practice was a disaster. </p>
<p>Alex tried staying on beat, but with every measure of the song, a new memory would come to him. </p>
<p>
  <em> Him locking eyes with Luke whenever Luke would turn during a performance, the way his heart would flutter when Luke winked at him. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Stuttering out a confession to Luke, only for Luke to lean in and kiss him on the lips, Alex staring at Luke and asking, “Does - does that mean you like me too?”  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Him telling his parents that he was gay, watching his father’s eyes glass over and just...getting up, ignoring Alex’s frantic, “Dad?”  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Of the one time his Dad had acknowledged him in months when he said he liked that young man Luke in his band, something that Alex thought was Dad was secretly telling him that he knew they were dating and was proud, and that they could tell him, that he was finally ready to see Alex.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> When his father slammed all the family photos and threw them on the ground, and Alex realized he had been so desperate for acceptance that he’d misunderstood his father’s comment, which meant nothing. Just like him.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Him breaking down in the garage one month into living there, telling Luke that he didn’t think he could do this, any of it, and the hurt in Luke’s eyes before he told Alex that he had to do whatever was best for him.  </em>
</p>
<p>Alex was aware that the band had stopped playing and were staring back at him, concern clear in their eyes. </p>
<p><em> I can’t even get it together for my band, </em> he thought, and he threw his drumsticks down in frustration. They were moving towards him, and Alex felt the crushing feeling in his chest again except ten times stronger and the tears that had been threatening to flow ever since he had entered his parent’s home were now freely streaming down his cheeks. </p>
<p>“Hey, hey, hey,” Julie said, and he felt three pairs of arms around him. “Tell us what’s wrong,” she said. “Don’t keep it in.” </p>
<p>“I never gave you back your sweatshirt, Reggie,” Alex sobbed into what he thought was Reggie’s chest. </p>
<p>“Uh, well, that’s fine,” Reggie said, a bit of confusion mixing in with his sympathy. “All of you always stole my clothes. I’m <em> pretty </em> sure Bobby’s still wearing my jeans, which honestly? Super dumb. We’ve been dead for 25 years, what’s <em> his </em> excuse for wearing the same clothes?” </p>
<p>Alex laughed, and the group broke their hug, smiling along with him. Julie’s arm was on his back, Reggie still had his arm around Alex’s waist in a semi hug, and Luke was holding onto Alex’s hand. Alex looked down at their intertwined hands and then back at Luke, but instead of withdrawing, Luke simply squeezed his hand. </p>
<p>“I’m guessing the family visit didn’t go so hot?” Reggie asked. It was blunt, but his tone was kind and he unconsciously gripped a little tighter onto Alex’s waist. </p>
<p>“No,” Alex admitted. “I haven’t been there since...well you know, since I left, and it just…” he trailed off, not knowing how to continue. </p>
<p>“Did it remind you of the day you left?” Julie asked, rubbing small circles on his back. His mom used to do the same for him as a kid whenever he came home sobbing because he messed up a performance or had answered a question wrong in class. The motion made him feel safe and comforted, even as it caused a heavy ache to spread across his chest. </p>
<p>“No,” Alex said, wiping at his tears. “Or, kind of. It was definitely part of it, but being there just reminded me that…” he trailed off again, trying to think of the words.</p>
<p>Alex had hated the day he had left, but a sick part of him had been relieved when his father had thrown down all their photos and raved at how upset he was, at his mother sitting on the couch massaging her temple, saying that she was disappointed. </p>
<p>It had been awful, but nothing compared to the months before. Throughout the day it was bearable - they all had their own things going on and it was easier to pretend like everyone was just busy instead of actively ignoring him - but whenever they sat down to eat was always the worst. Only Lizzie and Nina would be asked questions about their day and Alex would have to grab a plate because there were only four set on the table. Nina was so little that she thought it was a game and she’d grin with delight every time Alex asked for someone to pass the salt, giving her the chance to ask, “Did you guys hear something?” and lighting up every time their dad said, “No, I don’t think I did.” Lizzie would sigh at it and pass it to him, but even with her distaste at the petty shunning, she still wouldn’t look at him. He had asked her once, to look at him, and she had said, <em> I am, </em>all the while avoiding eye contact. </p>
<p>“Me being a ghost and me being alive is the same thing,” he finally said. “That’s what it feels like. Every song we had was stolen by Bobby, nobody sees me if Julie’s not around, and there’s not a <em> single </em> picture of me up back home.” He gave a humorless laugh as a thought came to him. “I always felt like a ghost in my own home, and now I <em> literally </em> am.” </p>
<p>“No, you’re not,” Luke said. </p>
<p>“Well, you are a ghost,” Reggie added, and Julie nudged him. <em> “Ow, </em> what?” </p>
<p>“Okay, well you’re a ghost, true,” Luke amended. “But <em> this </em> is your home.” </p>
<p>“And <em> we </em> see you,” Julie said. </p>
<p>“And Willie, Flynn, Carlos, and Ray now too,” Reggie chimed in. “You may be dead, but your social life has never been better.” </p>
<p>“And I don’t know how yet, but I <em> will </em> find a way to make sure everyone else can see you too,” Julie said, moving her hand from his back and holding on to his other free hand. “Not just when we’re performing. <em> Always.” </em></p>
<p>Alex looked into her eyes, wide and earnest, and he nodded. “Okay,” he said. It didn’t encompass what he thought - that he knew without a doubt that Julie was telling the truth, that she’d spend the rest of her life figuring out how to do it, that even if she couldn’t it still meant the world to Alex that she was going to try, no matter what. </p>
<p>Luke spoke next. “And they may be your family on paper,” he said in the same carefully gentle voice he always used when he spoke about Alex’s family. “But we’re your family too. You’re <em> our </em> family.” </p>
<p>“Nothing is ever going to change that,” Reggie said, and he got up. Alex looked up at him, expecting a mini-pep talk, but Reggie’s eyes filled with tears and he tackled Alex into a hug, knocking Alex back, chair and all. Julie and Luke shrieked as they fell backwards with him on the floor. </p>
<p>Alex laughed and sat up (not easy, with Reggie still clinging onto him, but he got it done). He wrapped his now free hands around Reggie. “Okay, okay,” he said. “I know. We’re family.” </p>
<p>“We definitely are,” Luke said, practically throwing himself onto the both of them and enveloping them both in a hug. </p>
<p>Alex smiled at the two of them and then looked over at Julie, who had sat up and was smiling at the group, an unsure look on his face. </p>
<p>“Julie,” Alex said lightly, “I think I need one more person hugging me to feel better.” </p>
<p>She rolled her eyes, but the smile grew and the unsure look in her eyes disappeared, and she joined in on the group hug. </p>
<p>The garage doors squeaked open, and Alex heard a sigh. </p>
<p>“You guys are having <em> another </em>crying session?” Carlos asked, and the group broke apart.</p>
<p><em> “No,” </em>Luke said, wiping at his eyes. </p>
<p><em> “Sure,” </em> Carlos said in a voice that yelled, <em> I definitely don’t believe you. </em>“Well, when you’re done not crying, Dad said it’s time for dinner, so hurry up.” </p>
<p>With that, he was gone, and Julie got up from her spot on the floor. “Come on,” she said. “Let’s go have dinner.”</p>
<p>“Your dad remembers we’re ghosts, right?” Luke asked. </p>
<p>“Nuh-uh, not this argument again,” Julie said, struggling and failing to keep her face serious. “You remember what Dad said last time you said that, <em> family time -”  </em></p>
<p><em> “-is family time, whether you eat or not,” </em> the rest of the boys finished, and Julie grinned. </p>
<p>“Exactly,” she said. “So come on.” </p>
<p>“Just give me a second,” Alex said, and at the worried looks from his bandmates he gave them a reassuring smile. “I’m fine, don’t worry. I just want to clean up the equipment a bit and then I’ll be in.” </p>
<p>Reggie patted him on the back and then he was out the door, yelling that he wanted to sit next to Ray, while Julie laughed and trailed after him. Luke reached over to squeeze Alex’s hand, and then he poofed away. Alex could already see Ray jump as Luke poofed into his usual seat next to Reggie and Julie, and Carlos’s eyes light up at the sight. They’d have the gluten-free-paleo-whatever <em>tía </em>Victoria had brought over for the week and Julie would absentmindedly pass him the salt to season his food. They’d say grace, and Ray would say thanks for the wonderful five kids in his house, something that had thrown Alex off the first time he had heard it but was grateful for each time. Afterwards, Carlos would show them some of those ghost hunting shows he liked to watch on you-tune or whatever - maybe Willie could even come by, if he was free, and they’d all circle around the screen and laugh as one of the guys fell over himself with every random noise. Julie would video call tía Victoria, who’d fawn over her niece and nephew and ask about the rest of the band, talking about how she had just seen yet another new performance of theirs and had loved it. </p>
<p>Unbidden, an image of his sister and her family popped up in his head. It occurred to him, briefly, that he never got to see Nina and his nephews or nieces, wherever they were. Maybe he’d try again, this time bringing his entire family along. They never made the crushing feeling in his chest go away, but it didn’t feel like it was choking him and they made everything all the more bearable. Maybe he could go visit, he thought, getting up from the floor. Maybe it’d be good for him, maybe it wouldn’t, but they’d face it together and he knew they’d gladly come with him if he asked. Maybe he’d even take another visit to his parent’s house, and try to get closure much like Luke had some time ago. </p>
<p>“Yo,” Carlos said, reappearing at the door and looking around the room. “You coming?” He stared just to the left of Alex (he was getting better at figuring out where the boys were without Julie, Alex had to give him that). </p>
<p>Alex tapped his drum cymbal in response and Carlos grinned. “Oh that’s so<em> cool,” </em> he said. “And perfect, because I’m <em> starving.”  </em></p>
<p>Alex grinned at the younger Molina and followed him out the door, his thoughts of his parents and his sister disappearing into the background. Maybe he’d do it, maybe he wouldn’t. He wasn’t sure yet. </p>
<p>For now, though, he was going to have dinner with his family. </p>
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